Funny how some of Eason's songs describe my situations so accurately... sigh

If she can only understand this...



如果我聽歌可眼紅 何以待你好偏不懂
自細做過多少美夢 慈悲的偉論
連乞丐喊窮心也痛
竟怕放懷擁抱你 讓你露歡容
追悔無用 轉眼發現 你失蹤

曾聽說過 你某夜結婚 未曾露笑容
實在不敢知道我是元兇

大概當初我未懂得顧忌
年少率性害慘你
令人受傷滋味 難保更可悲
這心地 再善良終生怎去 向你說對不起

良心有愧 原來隨便錯手
可毀了人一世
立志助世人脫貧以為
便偉大到像多麼有為
這種剌蝟 連誰曾待我好
都可帶來傷勢
被我害過來接受我跪
是我在製造眼淚居然想救世

就算積儲獻盡飢荒赤地
而太多債沒處理
累人累己滋味 餘生也記起
數一數 我實情不只得你要說句對不起

良心有愧 原來隨便錯手
可毀了人一世
立志助世人脫貧以為
便偉大到像多麼有為
這種剌蝟 連誰曾待我好
都可帶來傷勢
被我害過來接受我跪
是我在製造眼淚居然想救世

於心有愧 原來隨便錯手
可毀了人一世
立志助世人脫貧以為
便偉大到像多麼有為
這種剌蝟 連誰曾待我好
都可帶來傷勢
內疚內疚內疚沒作為
直到某年某日我能安息於葬禮

仍想你一家可到齊

People are precious jewels, to one another.
We show different types of care, attention, appreciation, and affection to these precious jewels, some better than the other.
Whereas others would manipulate the very blinding brightness and alluring auras that these precious jewels possess, I rather remain a simple and truthful connoisseur of my own precious jewel.
This jewel is the shiniest diamond of all, possessing the utmost uniqueness and distinctiveness.
Regardless of the cracks the jewel has undergone, I still treasure this jewel as my most prized possession.
I became, slowly, a diamond polish of sorts to refine the very cracks of  this shiny diamond.
Cracks not made by the diamond itself, but remained with it for long.
Until the polish grows dull and useless, the job will continue... refining my precious jewel.
Hopefully... it won't grow into that so soon...
Until then... I will stay a diamond polish to my cracked diamond.

One word of advice... if you ever have a morning class... do not take a nap three hours before your bed time... it fucks up ur biological schedule... like I am

Rather spending time to read the materials for class tomorrow(like I should be), instead, I am spending time on xanga, and I think they should give me an award for that

A few things happened recently:

My music teacher freaked me out last week during the first class because she stopped me after class, asked for my name again and all of a sudden pops a comment and question: "so Tikki... I think you are a really nice voice for singing... do you want to join the choir?"
For people who's reading this right now... you would probably have this dumbfounded look on your faces like I did when I heard this... I was like "wa.....t??
Note, that Tikki does not sing.... not even that... Tikki CANNOT sing... haha
P.S. to you-know-who *ahem* I am not gonna sing to you until I see you, haha

Glad for a close friend as the problem that emerged is no longer an issue, but there are still some lingering problems... hopefully this friend will stay strong la... I will always give my support ga

Another friend of mine ( yea... you're not that close yet ... hahaha, sike, jk) is struggling with some problems plus the arrival of her PMS... sucks for her
I really wanted to help her out but it's kinda hard, I can't help with her cramping and her problems are more-or-less too personal and difficult for me to be involved with so the only thing I could do is try to talk to her to ease some of her pressure and suffering...
She said something interesting to me tonight..."Tikki, I would love for you to switch places with me for a week..."
Aside from the physical impossibility of the matter, I know she would rather not if she actually knows what she is getting herself into.... a bottomless pit to Tikki's hellhole
So "friend", I say to you again... "Don't mind the things which you don't have or can't have, and treasure the things you already do have" and "Things that you have no control over... accept and change them; things that you have some control over... plan and conquer them; things that you have control over... just keep following your instincts and doing them, there's no one who can tell you what you can or cannot do... except for you, the choice is yours, it's up to you"
Wow... that was a mouthful (she's probably gonna call me stupid again.. haha)... but hey, I am only saying it cuz I care abt u la
Sigh... off to bed la... if not I would be more dead and tired than I am now... heh..
Lastly... it's again the day of the month where I have to remember...RIP grandma 11/21/07
-Tikki